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It Comes for Us All

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 It's been a year.

I can't really believe or process all that has occurred.

One year ago, my eldest brother whispered his final goodbye to this world. He had a heart attack in his apartment outside Paris. It wasn't until the next day that he was found and that we on this side of The Atlantic learned of his death.

For me, they held the news until after my daughter's graduation from college. 

My husband is one of my fiercest protectors. He looks out for my heart in ways that no one  ever did - except my elder brother. 

It was a joyous celebration for my family. We had my daughter's graduation on the 4th and also my son's 30th birthday. It was my birthday on the 6th and I was turning 60. The kids had all flown or drove in from various locations to be together. My husband and kids made plans for all the multiple moments.

And the phone rang during the beginning of the graduation ceremony.

My husband is serving as interim president of a university a thousand miles away - his phone is always pinging - so no big deal.

The way he kept the news and kept it off his face is a feat of love and commitment.

We celebrated our daughter in the ways we planned.

I didn't post anything, was in the moment, and all my cousins were under strict instructions to not call me, not post anything, and don't do a thing until I had been informed. The fact that this enormous clan on my mother's side held onto this is also a testament of love and commitment. I am forever grateful that they did that.

What I know, even today as my father's side of the family prepares to say the final goodbye to one of my first cousins, is that this time comes for all of us. Unexpectedly. And in all the coming, leaves us with a tremendous vacuum where that soul once resided.

The poet in Ecclesiastes reminded us that "for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." When I think about my brother and my first cousin, I think about them laughing, the latter was always cracking jokes, as late as January 2024 when we all gathered to say goodbye to my last aunt. My big brother was always filled with song, as a professional singer and performer his entire life, it exuded from his body.  When I think of them, I think of them both and ride the waves as they come.

Love is lived out loud and carries on in the lives of those who impact us.

During these troubling times in this country and the world, one of the things I am trying to do is hold onto love. It is more powerful and greater than anything else.

My brother and my cousin exuded it.

And for that, I am grateful.

May their legacy live on.

©2025. All Rights Reserved. 

sipping a lavender latte, thinking about the most important things

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