"Sex in the City" was a joyful movie to see on a night when I really needed to laugh.
Some of my friends in the St. Louis Chapter of Mocha Moms, Inc. organized a fierce girls-night-out. The evening was to include dinner-movie-dancing. I made it to the movie - courtesy of my husband's always late from work tendencies - and gave up on dancing since it was storming.
All that aside, it was nice to be dressed up and able to relax for a 2 1/2 hour journey into the world of Jimmy Choo, Louis Vuitton, and Manalo Blatnik. The New York mavens of the HBO series fame were delightful - even for those of us who hadn't watched the antics of Carrie Bradshaw, Mr. Big, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte.
The movie gave me a reason to laugh until tears came to my eyes. I had moments of collective estrogen recognition as the entire theatre in the Galleria Mall released a collective "ah" at the site of the Penthouse closet! We all understood the female need for more space! There were other moments of shared knowledge - even with the perfect strangers who sat beside me. We understood and secretly relished something just for us.
I had to close my eyes as few times at Samantha having her own private porn viewing of her next-door-neighbors. Her antics were legendary to SITC Fans. It was something to smile about though, an almost fifty woman still delighting in her sexuality.
Many of the women could identify with Carrie Bradshaw's excitement of finally marrying the love of her life at forty. Others could sense the inner turmoil of Miranda, the corporate lawyer with the Nanny and husband she hadn't slept with in six months. Some of us smiled at the fairy-tale life of sweet Charlotte with her perfect family, happy life, and joyful ending. All of us reminisced about young life with the refreshing character, Saint Louise from St. Louis. Jennifer Hudson was a wonderful addition to the original all-white cast. She added some flava and that was just what a few Mocha Moms needed!
This was opening weekend and I'm sure there were many Sex in the City parties planned. The reviewers on NPR alternated from telling the men to know it was just a chick flick to coming up with schemes on how to get out of going. One mentioned the recession and the shallowness of all the shopping and emphasis on consumption. Most women, in New York or elsewhere, probably don't wear $525 robin's egg blue Manalo Blatnik shoes with diamond buckles, but most women can identify with the escape.
The movie was delightful not just for all the fashions and the Carrie Bradshaw characters ever-changing wardrobe of shoes and purses, but for it's celebration of femininity and friendship. These four women had grown together as adults. They held each other during rough moments, they traveled across New York City in high-heeled white boots so one wouldn't be alone on New Year's Day. The movie celebrated the joy of being friends with someone who knew all your flaws and still loved you, who knew your dreams and supported you, who laughed with you, who cried with you, and who knew when to fly you to Mexico to heal your heart.
A perfect night unfolded for me after a day of chasing two daughters, preparing a picnic lunch, snapping at my husband, and stubbing my toe on yet another toy. I dressed up, put on my pink pearls and high heels and went out. I wasn't a mom or a wife or even a writer, I was a woman out with my cast of girlfriends. It was a fun night. We all should have such a moment.
life, really, and a latte by Tayé Foster Bradshaw
Friday, May 30, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Election Thoughts
This morning it is raining outside...and if we aren't careful...it will be raining on this election.
Powerful and well connected men stole the election in 2000. Let's admit that first off. It was an outright theft of the highest office in the land. And the result of the thievery? More thievery?
Lives have been lost in this unjust war. Yes, 9/11 happened. I was sitting there holding my newborn daughter when the Today Show was interrupted with the breaking news. I grieved, I wondered about family that lives in the city. I watched with horror as the second plane flew into the twin towers. My TV was set to the the news channel, I joined in the nationwide grieving.
Then the country lost its mind, thanks to George W. Bush. There were the neo-cons calling for this war - ok - go fight our enemies - but news flash - Iraq did not fly into the Twin Towers! The country was distracted because the super religious, ultra right wing, holier than thou folks were aghast that Bill Clinton got a blow job in the White House. Ok, that was between him, God, and his wife. So there was a mighty rush for holiness in the White House. George W. Bush - Dubya - went to church, atoned for his sins of the bottle - was good and clean. His wife was a school teacher and at-home mom, good "American" values. What we didn't see was the evil intent.
Super religious, bigoted and powerful people hijacked the nation. I'm a born-again Christian and under any other light would be called "evangelical" for my conservative spirituality. Yet, I like many others, DID NOT VOTE FOR GEORGE BUSH. I separated my beliefs and looked at the national crisis of the time (remember the 2001 recession?), poverty still prevalent, many social ills, discrimination still rampant, the rich starting to get richer, many things. I did not vote for Bush in 2000 and I did not vote for him in 2004. All these years under this regime and our country has sunk to new lows.
The thievery continued. We lost our civil liberties with everything from airport screenings to invasion of privacy in everything from cell phone records to what books we read. We were no longer a free country because we had to be protected from "terrorists." Our Muslim brothers were harassed and mosques were vandalized. People prayed and cocooned, Hallmark made money on "trend watching" and people stock-piled. Then the years went on and the war raged on and the death toll reached higher than lost in 9/11.
Years went by under this administration and jobs were lost, the chasm between the rich and the poor deepened. The evidence of the callousness showed through Hurricane Katrina when the poorest and most vulnerable were left behind. Lives were stolen, dignity was stolen, history was stolen.
Under this administration, we have watched jobs ship overseas faster than a jumbo jet can cross the country. The poverty of the poor reached the middle class with predatory lenders, greedy builders, impossible insurance premiums, and now a deepening recession, housing crisis, and gas costing more than bread. Hope was stolen.
I healed from the stolen election, I healed from the swiftboating, I healed from 9/11, I healed from the first, second, and now third recession. I watched in horror as our president did a flyover of the Hurricane Katrina area - his holier self too good to go down and see about the citizens of the lower 9th ward. I read the news reports of false teachers like Hagee spout off that this was God's punishment for homosexuality. I was horrified that our country had come to this, but I had to remember, this was also the country, with its holier-than-thou-WASPS that began our original sin. Slavery, stealing from the Native Americans, interning the Japanese, hosing down women and children, bombing innocent school girls, raping black women, lynching black men, enslaving brown men in the fruit fields - all of this at the hands of men who went to church every Sunday. So much stolen.
Then a bright light of hope. It was election year, the primaries, and a promising young senator. I like Senator Barack Obama. He is a breath of fresh air, a wave of hope, a promise that America can be someone to be really proud of again (get it right, just like Michelle Obama - I've always been proud of my country, but with Senator Obama - I can be REALLY proud of my country again). A light that this country can truly be for all people and that it is possible to believe that we are better than the ugliness.
Then I watched with eagerness at all the fine candidates until there was just three. I always supported Senator Obama and watched with pride as John Edwards, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton emerged as the three front runners. Several months ago in this primary, I said my daddy would be proud. All three were fine senators and would do much better than the previous years of choke-hold under the Bush administration. Then something turned my stomach.
Former President Bill Clinton. I liked him in 1992 and in 1996. I even liked him when he set up office in Harlem. He was becoming a statesman we could support (even with Toni Morrison's comments taken out-of-context, black people still liked him). I even supported Hillary's bid for the Senate, I thought she would be a fine person for New York. I was even proud to see a woman running for the White House, I was watching history happening in my lifetime. In America, there was a mixed-race black man, a white woman, and a white, Southern man all running for the Democratic ticket. Hope was shining bright...until Bill Clinton opened his mouth and got all red faced.
Racism...that ugly sin...our original sin...reared it ugly head. It wasn't the neo-cons, it wasn't the holier-than-thou Republicans (although they were just waiting their turn...) it was one of our own. Senator Hillary Clinton and her husband, Former President Bill Clinton dismissed Senator Barack Obama by bringing up Jesse Jackson. They started throwing in the race card when this intelligent, well spoken Senator from Illinois brought hope, unity, and change. I got mad, like a lot of Americans. I wasn't going to let this be another theft. I promptly sent a donation to the Obama campaign.
Now here we are, Senator Obama has won more pledged delegates, in the word of Nancy Pelosi - the only currency that matters in the Democratic primary process, and yet, Senator Hillary Clinton won't graciously step down. She has angered me to the point of total loss of respect for her and her husband. The evil intent has reared its ugly head. She clearly wants to steal the nomination by falsely claiming to win the "popular vote" and by throwing in the "hard working Americans, white Americans" comment. She pulled the covers back and revealed her true nature with the comments about Senator Obama only winning the black vote (last I check while in grad school at the University of Iowa - Iowa is a white state! so are a lot of the others he won like Oregon!). Then they tried to say he was elitist because it was the educated whites who voted for him - again, last I checked, an education was something to aspire to - isn't that the lie that Bush perpetuated with the failed No Child Left Behind?
None of that is working so she keeps trying to stir up fear and doubt in people who don't or won't read for themselves. She has played on the fears of older (over 50) white (Appalachia) uneducated (no college, barely high school) white blue collar voters. She dug down deep and instead of a pantsuite, could be wearing a white sheet, and played into the racism that has been a part of lower class white culture since the inception of this country. And no one took her to task for her comments, yet Senator Obama was held accountable for Rev. Jeremiah Wright and a flag pin! No more thievery in this country.
The Clintons knew the rules going in. She is now whining about Michigan and Florida. In the beginning she agreed that their delegates won't be seated and followed the rules. When her assumption didn't pan out, she started talking about "every vote counting" and didn't really "win" because the other candidates weren't on the ballot. She is stirring up dissention among the undereducated voters who won't research for themselves.
Hillary Clinton acts as if the country owes her the nomination because she stood by her man after Monica Lewinsky. I look back and realize, she planned this all along. She was holding her trump card and her husband was hostage. I'm sure she told him that he owed her the White House. She has been running like a woman scorned. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Hillary won't be gracious and save face. She won't let the rest of us professional women celebrate the fact that a woman came this close. She won't just let the movement go on. She is trying to sabotage the Democratic Party's chances. She lies, she race baits, she plays on the fears of uneducated white voters. She played the race card and tore off the scab of our nation's wounds. She is being George Bush in drag.
Senator Obama has been raked over the coals by the Main Stream Media from the beginning of this process, yet he has remained gracious. I watched him all along and my admiration increases. He is a devoted family man, he is a brilliant scholar (just read The Audacity of Hope to get a glimpse into his thought process), he loves this country, he has a vision, he has helped the forgotten people (remember his community organizing in Chicago) and he is a practicing, active Christian. He embraces the diversity of his family and celebrates the diversity that is America. He has brought more people into the process by going to every crook and crany and talking. His organization is something to be studied in the best business schools. He is a very capable leader...yet Hillary Clinton and her race baiting just won't admit that a black man is more than ready, more than capable, and more than the low class stunts that she has pulled.
The MSM has finally recognized it - the primary is over - Barack Obama IS the Democratic nominee. Even former opponents like John Edwards finally recognized it - and came out to endorse him. He signaled to Senator Clinton - you fought a good fight, it is over, bow out graciously and let's get to the business of saving this country! Heck, Even the Senator from West Virginia (the state where Hillary Clinton did some of her most evil race baiting) recognized it! We don't want another stolen election!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Don't let the Hillbilly Machine, politics-as-usual, race-baiting, and dirty pool steal opportunity from the country! It is time out for all the evil that has been done in this country. It is time out for the poverty, the classism, the racism.
Young people, we are the future, don't let a few people who vote against their economic interests decide the fate of this country. There is nothing wrong with being educated. There is nothing wrong with being a person of color in this country. There is nothing wrong with going to an all-black church or an all-white church. Stop the division! Hillary has caused division and polarized this country even further than the Republicans! This must stop1
There is a time for change in this country and that change is in Senator Barack Obama. This is our moment. Hope! Change! I can believe in this!
Powerful and well connected men stole the election in 2000. Let's admit that first off. It was an outright theft of the highest office in the land. And the result of the thievery? More thievery?
Lives have been lost in this unjust war. Yes, 9/11 happened. I was sitting there holding my newborn daughter when the Today Show was interrupted with the breaking news. I grieved, I wondered about family that lives in the city. I watched with horror as the second plane flew into the twin towers. My TV was set to the the news channel, I joined in the nationwide grieving.
Then the country lost its mind, thanks to George W. Bush. There were the neo-cons calling for this war - ok - go fight our enemies - but news flash - Iraq did not fly into the Twin Towers! The country was distracted because the super religious, ultra right wing, holier than thou folks were aghast that Bill Clinton got a blow job in the White House. Ok, that was between him, God, and his wife. So there was a mighty rush for holiness in the White House. George W. Bush - Dubya - went to church, atoned for his sins of the bottle - was good and clean. His wife was a school teacher and at-home mom, good "American" values. What we didn't see was the evil intent.
Super religious, bigoted and powerful people hijacked the nation. I'm a born-again Christian and under any other light would be called "evangelical" for my conservative spirituality. Yet, I like many others, DID NOT VOTE FOR GEORGE BUSH. I separated my beliefs and looked at the national crisis of the time (remember the 2001 recession?), poverty still prevalent, many social ills, discrimination still rampant, the rich starting to get richer, many things. I did not vote for Bush in 2000 and I did not vote for him in 2004. All these years under this regime and our country has sunk to new lows.
The thievery continued. We lost our civil liberties with everything from airport screenings to invasion of privacy in everything from cell phone records to what books we read. We were no longer a free country because we had to be protected from "terrorists." Our Muslim brothers were harassed and mosques were vandalized. People prayed and cocooned, Hallmark made money on "trend watching" and people stock-piled. Then the years went on and the war raged on and the death toll reached higher than lost in 9/11.
Years went by under this administration and jobs were lost, the chasm between the rich and the poor deepened. The evidence of the callousness showed through Hurricane Katrina when the poorest and most vulnerable were left behind. Lives were stolen, dignity was stolen, history was stolen.
Under this administration, we have watched jobs ship overseas faster than a jumbo jet can cross the country. The poverty of the poor reached the middle class with predatory lenders, greedy builders, impossible insurance premiums, and now a deepening recession, housing crisis, and gas costing more than bread. Hope was stolen.
I healed from the stolen election, I healed from the swiftboating, I healed from 9/11, I healed from the first, second, and now third recession. I watched in horror as our president did a flyover of the Hurricane Katrina area - his holier self too good to go down and see about the citizens of the lower 9th ward. I read the news reports of false teachers like Hagee spout off that this was God's punishment for homosexuality. I was horrified that our country had come to this, but I had to remember, this was also the country, with its holier-than-thou-WASPS that began our original sin. Slavery, stealing from the Native Americans, interning the Japanese, hosing down women and children, bombing innocent school girls, raping black women, lynching black men, enslaving brown men in the fruit fields - all of this at the hands of men who went to church every Sunday. So much stolen.
Then a bright light of hope. It was election year, the primaries, and a promising young senator. I like Senator Barack Obama. He is a breath of fresh air, a wave of hope, a promise that America can be someone to be really proud of again (get it right, just like Michelle Obama - I've always been proud of my country, but with Senator Obama - I can be REALLY proud of my country again). A light that this country can truly be for all people and that it is possible to believe that we are better than the ugliness.
Then I watched with eagerness at all the fine candidates until there was just three. I always supported Senator Obama and watched with pride as John Edwards, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton emerged as the three front runners. Several months ago in this primary, I said my daddy would be proud. All three were fine senators and would do much better than the previous years of choke-hold under the Bush administration. Then something turned my stomach.
Former President Bill Clinton. I liked him in 1992 and in 1996. I even liked him when he set up office in Harlem. He was becoming a statesman we could support (even with Toni Morrison's comments taken out-of-context, black people still liked him). I even supported Hillary's bid for the Senate, I thought she would be a fine person for New York. I was even proud to see a woman running for the White House, I was watching history happening in my lifetime. In America, there was a mixed-race black man, a white woman, and a white, Southern man all running for the Democratic ticket. Hope was shining bright...until Bill Clinton opened his mouth and got all red faced.
Racism...that ugly sin...our original sin...reared it ugly head. It wasn't the neo-cons, it wasn't the holier-than-thou Republicans (although they were just waiting their turn...) it was one of our own. Senator Hillary Clinton and her husband, Former President Bill Clinton dismissed Senator Barack Obama by bringing up Jesse Jackson. They started throwing in the race card when this intelligent, well spoken Senator from Illinois brought hope, unity, and change. I got mad, like a lot of Americans. I wasn't going to let this be another theft. I promptly sent a donation to the Obama campaign.
Now here we are, Senator Obama has won more pledged delegates, in the word of Nancy Pelosi - the only currency that matters in the Democratic primary process, and yet, Senator Hillary Clinton won't graciously step down. She has angered me to the point of total loss of respect for her and her husband. The evil intent has reared its ugly head. She clearly wants to steal the nomination by falsely claiming to win the "popular vote" and by throwing in the "hard working Americans, white Americans" comment. She pulled the covers back and revealed her true nature with the comments about Senator Obama only winning the black vote (last I check while in grad school at the University of Iowa - Iowa is a white state! so are a lot of the others he won like Oregon!). Then they tried to say he was elitist because it was the educated whites who voted for him - again, last I checked, an education was something to aspire to - isn't that the lie that Bush perpetuated with the failed No Child Left Behind?
None of that is working so she keeps trying to stir up fear and doubt in people who don't or won't read for themselves. She has played on the fears of older (over 50) white (Appalachia) uneducated (no college, barely high school) white blue collar voters. She dug down deep and instead of a pantsuite, could be wearing a white sheet, and played into the racism that has been a part of lower class white culture since the inception of this country. And no one took her to task for her comments, yet Senator Obama was held accountable for Rev. Jeremiah Wright and a flag pin! No more thievery in this country.
The Clintons knew the rules going in. She is now whining about Michigan and Florida. In the beginning she agreed that their delegates won't be seated and followed the rules. When her assumption didn't pan out, she started talking about "every vote counting" and didn't really "win" because the other candidates weren't on the ballot. She is stirring up dissention among the undereducated voters who won't research for themselves.
Hillary Clinton acts as if the country owes her the nomination because she stood by her man after Monica Lewinsky. I look back and realize, she planned this all along. She was holding her trump card and her husband was hostage. I'm sure she told him that he owed her the White House. She has been running like a woman scorned. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Hillary won't be gracious and save face. She won't let the rest of us professional women celebrate the fact that a woman came this close. She won't just let the movement go on. She is trying to sabotage the Democratic Party's chances. She lies, she race baits, she plays on the fears of uneducated white voters. She played the race card and tore off the scab of our nation's wounds. She is being George Bush in drag.
Senator Obama has been raked over the coals by the Main Stream Media from the beginning of this process, yet he has remained gracious. I watched him all along and my admiration increases. He is a devoted family man, he is a brilliant scholar (just read The Audacity of Hope to get a glimpse into his thought process), he loves this country, he has a vision, he has helped the forgotten people (remember his community organizing in Chicago) and he is a practicing, active Christian. He embraces the diversity of his family and celebrates the diversity that is America. He has brought more people into the process by going to every crook and crany and talking. His organization is something to be studied in the best business schools. He is a very capable leader...yet Hillary Clinton and her race baiting just won't admit that a black man is more than ready, more than capable, and more than the low class stunts that she has pulled.
The MSM has finally recognized it - the primary is over - Barack Obama IS the Democratic nominee. Even former opponents like John Edwards finally recognized it - and came out to endorse him. He signaled to Senator Clinton - you fought a good fight, it is over, bow out graciously and let's get to the business of saving this country! Heck, Even the Senator from West Virginia (the state where Hillary Clinton did some of her most evil race baiting) recognized it! We don't want another stolen election!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Don't let the Hillbilly Machine, politics-as-usual, race-baiting, and dirty pool steal opportunity from the country! It is time out for all the evil that has been done in this country. It is time out for the poverty, the classism, the racism.
Young people, we are the future, don't let a few people who vote against their economic interests decide the fate of this country. There is nothing wrong with being educated. There is nothing wrong with being a person of color in this country. There is nothing wrong with going to an all-black church or an all-white church. Stop the division! Hillary has caused division and polarized this country even further than the Republicans! This must stop1
There is a time for change in this country and that change is in Senator Barack Obama. This is our moment. Hope! Change! I can believe in this!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Food, Food, Food!
This is National Eosinophilic Awareness Week. May 19-23.
What in the world is eo-sin-o-what? I asked the same question over two years ago when the doctors at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri put a name to the mystery of why my youngest child was throwing up colors of the rainbow. This rare, chronic illness has made food top-of-mind for the past few years.
Eosinophilic Gastrointenstinal Disorders plagues many children in America and is directly related to food allergies. My daughter, born into a family with asthma and allergies, got a full dose of the allergic condition. She had eczema as a new born, wheezed when I unknowingly ate something with nuts (she was nursed) and essentially became a human geyser when I introduced her to milk.
The mystery of this disorder is the reason APFED (American Partnership for Eosinophilic Disorders, http://www.apfed.org) went to congress and lobbied for more research and recognition. This disorder can completely alter the lives of the patient and families as food isn't as simple as "what's for dinner." Living with EG has many complications for the families ranging from finding medicines to quiet down the histamines to ending up on formula or feeding tubes by late adolescence or teen years. The resulting side-affects and strain on the family is why a few mothers started APFED about six years ago and have worked tirelessly to raise funds, awareness, and to get schools on boards with helping the kids live healthy, normal lives.
APFED has worked to empower parents and students to be able to carry their EpiPens, inhalers, formulas and other necessary medicines instead of keeping them in the nurses office. It meant empathetic teachers and administrators aware of the need for the kids to feel as normal as possible and use it as a teaching moment when the feeding tubes have been placed. It meant getting the word out on this complex illness.
EGID is more than just a peanut or shellfish allergy and hence needed its own recognition. The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network site (http://www.afaan.org) has been helpful to EGID patients in listing alternatives for many allergic foods. The main difference is that EGID kids usually have trouble with a large number of foods, like my daughter, and often have to go on elimination diets or formula for longer periods of time. A lot of EGID (in all the various forms) becomes kids who can't eat.
Food allergic kids (peanuts, treenuts, shellfish) can simply stay away from the offending food, carry their EpiPen, and essentially maintain healthy lifestyles. The kids and teens with EGID tend toward the malnourished side (often one of the presenting side affects in infants - the mysterious diagnosis of "failure to thrive."). The road these kids travel often leads them to become "kids who can't eat." The inability to simply be a teenager and go out for pizza makes life complicated for kids in a food-oriented society.
My life as a mother of a little girl with EGID has changed dramatically. Her initial diagnosis was EG (meaning the offending eosinophils were in her stomach and small intestine). We went through a battery of different medicines and stints in the hospital she was semi-stable. She was 18 months old when we got the notice of the foods she was allergic to. We set out to make her life better. She still kept throwing up a lot and her bout with eosinophilic disease ended up in her esophagus. Thankfully, a few rounds of steroids and that cleared up in about a year. In the meantime, I've learned to read the labels of everything and to be her voice when she was too young to speak for herself.
The journey has been spiritual, mental, physical, and financial. It has been a learning experience for my family. My husband has had to balance his practicality (just shop at Wal*Mart) with his concern for his daughter (ok, get whatever she needs). I set out to discover what was available without the offending soy-eggs-milk-wheat-treenuts-peanuts-shellfish-fish-strawberries-oranges-bananas that are her top allergens. I found Whole Foods Market, local farmer's markets, and Trader Joe's. We moved across the state and in the St. Louis area stores like Diergerg's and Schnuck's have large organic food sections. I've discovered brands that are allergen free and have divorced a lot of processed foods. My daughter is four, her last scope was clean, and she has become a voice for her own health.
I have become become a pretty good chef. She has learned to celebrate the things she can have, such as enjoying fruit sorbets or slushies instead of ice cream, jasmine rice instead of pasta, and grilled chicken instead of chicken fingers. She loves lima beans, broccoli, apples, grapes, and carrots - how many four year olds do you know who will eat a plate full of lima beans? We cook together and continuously hunt for ways to enrich her life and take the focus off just food. There are moments she melts down, "I hate my stomach condition," she may utter in the face of ice cream or pizza, but she recovers with lots of love, a hug, and a trip to her special stash of foods such as Enjoy Life Cookies or an Edy's All-Fruit Lemon Bar.
Throughout the years, we have come to be thankful for my husband's career that enables me to still be at home (five years now). We thank God we are fortunate to have insurance that pays for her medicines and that so far, she doesn't need the costly formula. Our new city has a wonderful specialist in the field and she is my partner in keeping our daughter healthy. I found Lauren's Hope (http://www.laurenshope.com) and ordered a special medic-alert bracket. There isn't one for EGID, but their engraving allowed me to list her disorder as well as all the foods he is allergic to. I found APFED recently and was thankful to know there is a national push for this disease. The focus to hope, heal, and cure EGID is their mission...it is my mission.
My daughter has had multiple surgeries (the first to repair intestinal malrotation that was the first real sign she was sick and subsequent scopes to do biopsies of her GI tract). She practically lived in Children's Hospital for a while when she was a toddler. You wouldn't know it to look at her today. She doesn't cry as much now when she has to go for her quarterly biopsies and makes me proud of her strength. She is my Warrior Princess for a reason.
It is National Eosinophilic Awareness Week. What does this mean to the average person? As a parent, it means to be more observant of the ingredients you send to school for parties. It means considering an alternative to the ice cream and cake parties. It means giving out gummy bears instead of chocolate candy bars if you celebrate Halloween. It means non-food birthday parties that emphasize activities instead of food. It means not turning up your nose at a mother and child racing toward the bathroom in the restaurant because there was an offending hidden ingredient in her dinner. It means going to a fundraising garage sale if one is in your area. It means being empathetic to kids who are "different." It means simply caring.
I'm not sure what the future holds for my daughter or the other kids who live with this disease every day. I am sure of her infectious smile. I am sure of her imaginative play. I am sure of her love for her big sister. I am sure of her fondness for Dora. I am sure of her strength. I am sure God has her in His hands. I am sure because I have to be.
What in the world is eo-sin-o-what? I asked the same question over two years ago when the doctors at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri put a name to the mystery of why my youngest child was throwing up colors of the rainbow. This rare, chronic illness has made food top-of-mind for the past few years.
Eosinophilic Gastrointenstinal Disorders plagues many children in America and is directly related to food allergies. My daughter, born into a family with asthma and allergies, got a full dose of the allergic condition. She had eczema as a new born, wheezed when I unknowingly ate something with nuts (she was nursed) and essentially became a human geyser when I introduced her to milk.
The mystery of this disorder is the reason APFED (American Partnership for Eosinophilic Disorders, http://www.apfed.org) went to congress and lobbied for more research and recognition. This disorder can completely alter the lives of the patient and families as food isn't as simple as "what's for dinner." Living with EG has many complications for the families ranging from finding medicines to quiet down the histamines to ending up on formula or feeding tubes by late adolescence or teen years. The resulting side-affects and strain on the family is why a few mothers started APFED about six years ago and have worked tirelessly to raise funds, awareness, and to get schools on boards with helping the kids live healthy, normal lives.
APFED has worked to empower parents and students to be able to carry their EpiPens, inhalers, formulas and other necessary medicines instead of keeping them in the nurses office. It meant empathetic teachers and administrators aware of the need for the kids to feel as normal as possible and use it as a teaching moment when the feeding tubes have been placed. It meant getting the word out on this complex illness.
EGID is more than just a peanut or shellfish allergy and hence needed its own recognition. The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network site (http://www.afaan.org) has been helpful to EGID patients in listing alternatives for many allergic foods. The main difference is that EGID kids usually have trouble with a large number of foods, like my daughter, and often have to go on elimination diets or formula for longer periods of time. A lot of EGID (in all the various forms) becomes kids who can't eat.
Food allergic kids (peanuts, treenuts, shellfish) can simply stay away from the offending food, carry their EpiPen, and essentially maintain healthy lifestyles. The kids and teens with EGID tend toward the malnourished side (often one of the presenting side affects in infants - the mysterious diagnosis of "failure to thrive."). The road these kids travel often leads them to become "kids who can't eat." The inability to simply be a teenager and go out for pizza makes life complicated for kids in a food-oriented society.
My life as a mother of a little girl with EGID has changed dramatically. Her initial diagnosis was EG (meaning the offending eosinophils were in her stomach and small intestine). We went through a battery of different medicines and stints in the hospital she was semi-stable. She was 18 months old when we got the notice of the foods she was allergic to. We set out to make her life better. She still kept throwing up a lot and her bout with eosinophilic disease ended up in her esophagus. Thankfully, a few rounds of steroids and that cleared up in about a year. In the meantime, I've learned to read the labels of everything and to be her voice when she was too young to speak for herself.
The journey has been spiritual, mental, physical, and financial. It has been a learning experience for my family. My husband has had to balance his practicality (just shop at Wal*Mart) with his concern for his daughter (ok, get whatever she needs). I set out to discover what was available without the offending soy-eggs-milk-wheat-treenuts-peanuts-shellfish-fish-strawberries-oranges-bananas that are her top allergens. I found Whole Foods Market, local farmer's markets, and Trader Joe's. We moved across the state and in the St. Louis area stores like Diergerg's and Schnuck's have large organic food sections. I've discovered brands that are allergen free and have divorced a lot of processed foods. My daughter is four, her last scope was clean, and she has become a voice for her own health.
I have become become a pretty good chef. She has learned to celebrate the things she can have, such as enjoying fruit sorbets or slushies instead of ice cream, jasmine rice instead of pasta, and grilled chicken instead of chicken fingers. She loves lima beans, broccoli, apples, grapes, and carrots - how many four year olds do you know who will eat a plate full of lima beans? We cook together and continuously hunt for ways to enrich her life and take the focus off just food. There are moments she melts down, "I hate my stomach condition," she may utter in the face of ice cream or pizza, but she recovers with lots of love, a hug, and a trip to her special stash of foods such as Enjoy Life Cookies or an Edy's All-Fruit Lemon Bar.
Throughout the years, we have come to be thankful for my husband's career that enables me to still be at home (five years now). We thank God we are fortunate to have insurance that pays for her medicines and that so far, she doesn't need the costly formula. Our new city has a wonderful specialist in the field and she is my partner in keeping our daughter healthy. I found Lauren's Hope (http://www.laurenshope.com) and ordered a special medic-alert bracket. There isn't one for EGID, but their engraving allowed me to list her disorder as well as all the foods he is allergic to. I found APFED recently and was thankful to know there is a national push for this disease. The focus to hope, heal, and cure EGID is their mission...it is my mission.
My daughter has had multiple surgeries (the first to repair intestinal malrotation that was the first real sign she was sick and subsequent scopes to do biopsies of her GI tract). She practically lived in Children's Hospital for a while when she was a toddler. You wouldn't know it to look at her today. She doesn't cry as much now when she has to go for her quarterly biopsies and makes me proud of her strength. She is my Warrior Princess for a reason.
It is National Eosinophilic Awareness Week. What does this mean to the average person? As a parent, it means to be more observant of the ingredients you send to school for parties. It means considering an alternative to the ice cream and cake parties. It means giving out gummy bears instead of chocolate candy bars if you celebrate Halloween. It means non-food birthday parties that emphasize activities instead of food. It means not turning up your nose at a mother and child racing toward the bathroom in the restaurant because there was an offending hidden ingredient in her dinner. It means going to a fundraising garage sale if one is in your area. It means being empathetic to kids who are "different." It means simply caring.
I'm not sure what the future holds for my daughter or the other kids who live with this disease every day. I am sure of her infectious smile. I am sure of her imaginative play. I am sure of her love for her big sister. I am sure of her fondness for Dora. I am sure of her strength. I am sure God has her in His hands. I am sure because I have to be.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Lacking Discretion
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Proverbs 11:22NIV
We live in an oversexualized society. It seems every time I turn on the TV, open a magazine, or read an email, I'm assaulted with sexual innuendo. I'm an adult, I can tune this out, but what about our daughters?
The magazines proudly display scantily-clad young girls like Miley Cyrus or Lindsey Lohan as images of aspiration. CNN's "Showbiz Tonight" and all the other shows like "Entertainment Tonight" all seem to glamorize the risque behavior and near-nakedness of the Paris Hilton and Beyonce of the world. The message that it sends, like the pouty-mouthed Bratz dolls by Mattel, is that only your body matters. Sex, sex, sex.
Well the message caught up with one young Houston girl. Senior prom is a time of magic, wonder,and celebration. Girls spend hundreds of dollars on dresses, hair, nails, makeup, shoes, everything for their night in the spotlight. Marche Taylor undoubtedly had such aspirations for the night. Her colors were beautiful - gold, her date was handsomely attired in white full-legged pants (not sagging!), white shirt and gold vest. She, on the other hand, seems to want to morph into Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, and Jennifer Lopez with her barely-there dress.
According to the Dallas Morning News and this link on Huffington Post, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/5/12/see-the-dress-that-got-a_n_101311.html, the Madison High School senior got more than her 15 minutes of fame. She emerged from her vehicle in a "custom made" dress that bordered on amateur-designer-turned-hooker fame. Yes, she is a beautiful girl, yes the body fit her precisely, and no, it wasn't appropriate for the prom.
This young girl caused a ruckus enough for the school officials to call the police, even after her friends tried to wrap the train around her underwear-less body. My thought when I saw the pictures and listened to what she said in her interview was "where is that girl's mother?" Didn't any of the adults in her life tell her the truth that she looked like she was a sexpot?
I'm not the morality police and certainly not holler-than-thou, but something drastically wrong has happened to our young people and if we don't change it soon, it's going to get worse. This to me, is the worse I've ever seen. I would never let my sons accompany a girl dressed like this to the prom. It sends the wrong message. She is a beautiful girl, no doubt, but beautiful girls can sometimes act without discretion. She looked like she was advertising and letting everyone know her plans for "after-prom" included losing her virginity if she hasn't already.
What about our daughters? It also bothered me that this was a young black girl. The media has already over-hyped our supposed insatiable sexual desires. The mainstream-owned black media (BET) and the channels like Vh1 actively promote the image of rump-shaking, poll dancing, breast-baring young black girls for the titillating of white teens. More white male teens purchase rap, more of them hear the reference to black girls and women as "h***" and "b****" and more of them believe it. This oversexualization of the black woman has happened since time immemorial in the U.S., but for this young girl to proudly and actively pursue this look, made this black mother very sad.
I spend my Saturday mornings with a group of middle school girls. They are each beautiful and promising. They are black girls I want to show another way. When I first started working with them, one of the things I said at the start of every meeting was, "zip up the girlfriends." After the third meeting, the girls automatically knew not to come in dressed like they were advertising. I asked them why did I tell them that. One of the girls responded that I didn't want them having men look at them that way. She was correct. I also want them to know they are more than their cup size.
The body is beautiful, God designed it that way. Black women and Latino women are some of the most gorgeous, generously blessed by God with shapes that advertisers are trying to sell to white women. This is not a "we are better than them" muse, it is just an observation. The media and plastic surgeons play up the full lips, round hips, and full busts that come naturally to black women but they do it in a way that demeans us and hypes up white women who pay big money for the same attributes. The end result is objectification for an audience of predominately white men who control the advertising dollars, the magazines, and the television stations.
What does this all mean? How can we change this? I am teaching my young daughters, ages 4 and 6, to respect themselves and their bodies. They know what is appropriate and inappropriate dress. We don't wear all black or Texas-ranch style dresses, but they know the difference between a belly-exposing midriff halter and a nice t-shirt. We walk in the girls' section of department stores and see marketing attempts to sexualize them, but they can now point out the things I disapprove of. It starts there, with parents setting standards. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. I'm teaching them to have pride in their abilities, one likes to write, the other likes baby dolls and animals.
The young girl, Marche Taylor, will one day look back at the images of herself and be ashamed. Her future husband may see these images and think, there isn't a mystery anymore, everyone has seen her body. She may get a modeling contract from it, may end up on Tyra Bank's, "America's Next Top Model," but at what cost?
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Proverbs 11:22NIV.
We live in an oversexualized society. It seems every time I turn on the TV, open a magazine, or read an email, I'm assaulted with sexual innuendo. I'm an adult, I can tune this out, but what about our daughters?
The magazines proudly display scantily-clad young girls like Miley Cyrus or Lindsey Lohan as images of aspiration. CNN's "Showbiz Tonight" and all the other shows like "Entertainment Tonight" all seem to glamorize the risque behavior and near-nakedness of the Paris Hilton and Beyonce of the world. The message that it sends, like the pouty-mouthed Bratz dolls by Mattel, is that only your body matters. Sex, sex, sex.
Well the message caught up with one young Houston girl. Senior prom is a time of magic, wonder,and celebration. Girls spend hundreds of dollars on dresses, hair, nails, makeup, shoes, everything for their night in the spotlight. Marche Taylor undoubtedly had such aspirations for the night. Her colors were beautiful - gold, her date was handsomely attired in white full-legged pants (not sagging!), white shirt and gold vest. She, on the other hand, seems to want to morph into Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, and Jennifer Lopez with her barely-there dress.
According to the Dallas Morning News and this link on Huffington Post, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/5/12/see-the-dress-that-got-a_n_101311.html, the Madison High School senior got more than her 15 minutes of fame. She emerged from her vehicle in a "custom made" dress that bordered on amateur-designer-turned-hooker fame. Yes, she is a beautiful girl, yes the body fit her precisely, and no, it wasn't appropriate for the prom.
This young girl caused a ruckus enough for the school officials to call the police, even after her friends tried to wrap the train around her underwear-less body. My thought when I saw the pictures and listened to what she said in her interview was "where is that girl's mother?" Didn't any of the adults in her life tell her the truth that she looked like she was a sexpot?
I'm not the morality police and certainly not holler-than-thou, but something drastically wrong has happened to our young people and if we don't change it soon, it's going to get worse. This to me, is the worse I've ever seen. I would never let my sons accompany a girl dressed like this to the prom. It sends the wrong message. She is a beautiful girl, no doubt, but beautiful girls can sometimes act without discretion. She looked like she was advertising and letting everyone know her plans for "after-prom" included losing her virginity if she hasn't already.
What about our daughters? It also bothered me that this was a young black girl. The media has already over-hyped our supposed insatiable sexual desires. The mainstream-owned black media (BET) and the channels like Vh1 actively promote the image of rump-shaking, poll dancing, breast-baring young black girls for the titillating of white teens. More white male teens purchase rap, more of them hear the reference to black girls and women as "h***" and "b****" and more of them believe it. This oversexualization of the black woman has happened since time immemorial in the U.S., but for this young girl to proudly and actively pursue this look, made this black mother very sad.
I spend my Saturday mornings with a group of middle school girls. They are each beautiful and promising. They are black girls I want to show another way. When I first started working with them, one of the things I said at the start of every meeting was, "zip up the girlfriends." After the third meeting, the girls automatically knew not to come in dressed like they were advertising. I asked them why did I tell them that. One of the girls responded that I didn't want them having men look at them that way. She was correct. I also want them to know they are more than their cup size.
The body is beautiful, God designed it that way. Black women and Latino women are some of the most gorgeous, generously blessed by God with shapes that advertisers are trying to sell to white women. This is not a "we are better than them" muse, it is just an observation. The media and plastic surgeons play up the full lips, round hips, and full busts that come naturally to black women but they do it in a way that demeans us and hypes up white women who pay big money for the same attributes. The end result is objectification for an audience of predominately white men who control the advertising dollars, the magazines, and the television stations.
What does this all mean? How can we change this? I am teaching my young daughters, ages 4 and 6, to respect themselves and their bodies. They know what is appropriate and inappropriate dress. We don't wear all black or Texas-ranch style dresses, but they know the difference between a belly-exposing midriff halter and a nice t-shirt. We walk in the girls' section of department stores and see marketing attempts to sexualize them, but they can now point out the things I disapprove of. It starts there, with parents setting standards. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. I'm teaching them to have pride in their abilities, one likes to write, the other likes baby dolls and animals.
The young girl, Marche Taylor, will one day look back at the images of herself and be ashamed. Her future husband may see these images and think, there isn't a mystery anymore, everyone has seen her body. She may get a modeling contract from it, may end up on Tyra Bank's, "America's Next Top Model," but at what cost?
"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Proverbs 11:22NIV.
Labels:
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Bratz,
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Disney,
Halle Berry,
Mattel,
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Miley Cyrus,
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scantily clad,
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sexual stereotypes,
Texas prom dress,
Tyra Banks
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Commonalities
I love people.
Someone told me my enthusiasm is infectious! I hope so. I just love God's people.
I'm intrigued by cultures and learning new languages, trying new foods (to a point!), and exploring new arts. This is one thing that keeps me searching beyond the racial divide...commonalities.
Yesterday was a pivotal day. First I read all the blogs and news reports about Barack Obama's decisive lead over Hillary Clinton. Then I thought about all the Main Stream Media's attempts over the past few weeks to incite a verbal/mental race war just for ratings. I thought about the recent events here in Kirkwood. And I wondered what points of commonality could be reached in the nation, in my state, and in my community.
I've been blessed to be a part of brave people in Kirkwood, MO who decided it was time to talk about the 1000lb elephant...white privilege and institutional racism. So we came together every month since the February 7th shooting. We sat in small groups across from each other and we talked about what it was like to live in this small section of the St. Louis Metro Area. White people listened to Black people recount incidents of prejudice and racism. Black people listened as White people talked about how they thought it (racism) was over. The exchanges varied in group to group, but in all the groups - there was the quest for understanding, healing, and commonality.
People discovered they shared similar values - God, family, community. They discovered there were different expressions of those values - such as how we worship, extended family, foods, etc. All the people who came to the Community for Understanding and Healing Dialogues all walked away a little bit different, just a little bit more compassionate, and a little bit more wiser...we learned something.
We are going into the summer months here in Kirkwood. That means kids out of school, summer camps, baseball, swimming, reading, leisure, vacations. It also means a time to find something in common with our fellow man. I enjoy a good books so I'm joining the CFUH Summer Book Club. I love a good cup of coffee so I'll spend lots of afternoons looking at the fountain outside Kaldi's Coffee Shop. I am searching for ways to connect the people God has placed in my path.
I will never say it is easy. It is not easy to erase years of memories, but it is easy to walk across the square, say hello, and wish someone a good day. Commonalities...we all have them.
Someone told me my enthusiasm is infectious! I hope so. I just love God's people.
I'm intrigued by cultures and learning new languages, trying new foods (to a point!), and exploring new arts. This is one thing that keeps me searching beyond the racial divide...commonalities.
Yesterday was a pivotal day. First I read all the blogs and news reports about Barack Obama's decisive lead over Hillary Clinton. Then I thought about all the Main Stream Media's attempts over the past few weeks to incite a verbal/mental race war just for ratings. I thought about the recent events here in Kirkwood. And I wondered what points of commonality could be reached in the nation, in my state, and in my community.
I've been blessed to be a part of brave people in Kirkwood, MO who decided it was time to talk about the 1000lb elephant...white privilege and institutional racism. So we came together every month since the February 7th shooting. We sat in small groups across from each other and we talked about what it was like to live in this small section of the St. Louis Metro Area. White people listened to Black people recount incidents of prejudice and racism. Black people listened as White people talked about how they thought it (racism) was over. The exchanges varied in group to group, but in all the groups - there was the quest for understanding, healing, and commonality.
People discovered they shared similar values - God, family, community. They discovered there were different expressions of those values - such as how we worship, extended family, foods, etc. All the people who came to the Community for Understanding and Healing Dialogues all walked away a little bit different, just a little bit more compassionate, and a little bit more wiser...we learned something.
We are going into the summer months here in Kirkwood. That means kids out of school, summer camps, baseball, swimming, reading, leisure, vacations. It also means a time to find something in common with our fellow man. I enjoy a good books so I'm joining the CFUH Summer Book Club. I love a good cup of coffee so I'll spend lots of afternoons looking at the fountain outside Kaldi's Coffee Shop. I am searching for ways to connect the people God has placed in my path.
I will never say it is easy. It is not easy to erase years of memories, but it is easy to walk across the square, say hello, and wish someone a good day. Commonalities...we all have them.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Birthday
Today is my birthday.
I am 44 years old.
I have been without my mother for 40 years.
She was 44 years old when she died.
I have a 4 year old.
I was 4 years old.
I am living my dream.
She never got to live her dream.
I look like her.
I have her hands.
I carry her dreams.
Today is my birthday.
I am 44 years old.
I have been without my mother for 40 years.
She was 44 years old when she died.
I have a 4 year old.
I was 4 years old.
I am living my dream.
She never got to live her dream.
I look like her.
I have her hands.
I carry her dreams.
Today is my birthday.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
National Day of Prayer
What I'm praying for...
1. The Lord's will to be done!
2. People to store up like Joseph so they won't go hungry as the recession wears on!
3. All the young people! Special prayer for young black men who seem to be a target.
4. Peace in America, we are in deep trouble as a nation of greed, death, and immorality.
5. My son in Japan.
6. My eldest son trying to be a thoughtful, educated, 21, black, American.
7. My youngest daughter and all other kids with chronic illnesses...and their parents.
8. Decent and affordable health care in America.
9. ELECTION DAY 2008 and INAUGURAL DAY 2009...A CHANGE HAS TO COME!!!!
10. My little corner of the world as we work through race relations.
11. The wealthy to know you really don't need another Prada or your 16 year old in a Mercedes!
12. The poor to know God has got your back and stop making Wal*Mart wealthy!
13. White people to stop being scared of black people, we are AMERICANS TOO!
14. White people to stop hating if black people want to be proud of their blackness.
15. Black people to stop blaming white people and take care of our own!
16. Black fathers and black men to take back the community.
17. Teenage girls to close their legs and stop the rising numbers of teen STD.
18. Main Stream Media to stop trying to scare the blue collar white people!
19. Blue collar white people and blue collar black and brown people to unite!
20. Teachers to junk No Child Left Behind and GO BACK TO TEACHING OUR KIDS!
21. Kids to go to the library (FREE!!!) and turn off the TV!
22. Family dinner time all the time and stop chasing the illusive dollar bill!
23. 11 o'clock in America would stop being the most segregated hour of the week!
24. The country to stop enabling the big fat lie of Iraq and support our troops but not WAR!
25. Peace, really, really, really, just peace for a day and stop the killing!
1. The Lord's will to be done!
2. People to store up like Joseph so they won't go hungry as the recession wears on!
3. All the young people! Special prayer for young black men who seem to be a target.
4. Peace in America, we are in deep trouble as a nation of greed, death, and immorality.
5. My son in Japan.
6. My eldest son trying to be a thoughtful, educated, 21, black, American.
7. My youngest daughter and all other kids with chronic illnesses...and their parents.
8. Decent and affordable health care in America.
9. ELECTION DAY 2008 and INAUGURAL DAY 2009...A CHANGE HAS TO COME!!!!
10. My little corner of the world as we work through race relations.
11. The wealthy to know you really don't need another Prada or your 16 year old in a Mercedes!
12. The poor to know God has got your back and stop making Wal*Mart wealthy!
13. White people to stop being scared of black people, we are AMERICANS TOO!
14. White people to stop hating if black people want to be proud of their blackness.
15. Black people to stop blaming white people and take care of our own!
16. Black fathers and black men to take back the community.
17. Teenage girls to close their legs and stop the rising numbers of teen STD.
18. Main Stream Media to stop trying to scare the blue collar white people!
19. Blue collar white people and blue collar black and brown people to unite!
20. Teachers to junk No Child Left Behind and GO BACK TO TEACHING OUR KIDS!
21. Kids to go to the library (FREE!!!) and turn off the TV!
22. Family dinner time all the time and stop chasing the illusive dollar bill!
23. 11 o'clock in America would stop being the most segregated hour of the week!
24. The country to stop enabling the big fat lie of Iraq and support our troops but not WAR!
25. Peace, really, really, really, just peace for a day and stop the killing!
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