Can't Make It Make Sense

 It takes courage to stand strong in the face of wrong.

It takes courage to walk away from harm even though you know people will revile you.

It takes courage to call a thing a thing.

It takes courage to stand for right.

It takes courage to hold the line.

Sadly, we saw that there were eight people, placed in positions of service and leadership, representing millions, who chose the side of expedience and empty promises, they chose the side of appeasement of evil instead of fighting for love of all humankind. They chose the cower instead of standing on the courage of the millions behind them who marched and just a week ago, voted for what is just.

The furlough has impacted hundreds of thousands of households, my Ace is one of them. Even they said to hold the line, to not give in, that Americans deserved the basic human rights of healthcare and food.

The non-stop psychological warfare since January has been a lot, even for those of us trained to deal with trauma and harm. I have had to personally not watch the 24-hour-news since the election last year.I've had to dial down my social media to barely posting and have to find credible news in other sources. I've had to guard my peace. So it was the fire-in-my-soul anger that rose up in me when I was waiting for my daughter's upcoming flight information that on Sunday night, I turned on my media sources to check in with the world. I knew about Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's strategy move to send the issue back down to the lower court to expose the truth of the plunder of this administration. They spent up the reserves. I knew about the Congresswoman-elect from Arizona who is not the longest-waiting-congressperson because Speaker Mike Johnson refuses to swear her in. Oh how "christian" of him to deny her the position she rightly holds to represent her constituents because the god he answers to is not the God-of-the-Universe.

It was a lot of news at once.

That has also been by design.

The body does keep the score, as Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk opines in his book of the same name. We have memory and I suggest that the emotions and nerves are now holding much more than designed.

There is nothing normal about snatching children from mothers or deploying chemical weapons into cars with one-year-olds or even beating 67-year-old runners because they asked for a badge.

None of this makes sense.

I was in the car and per usual, started talking to God. Some more bit of news or something, some innocent died or some celebrate left too young or too soon for us to not be ready to no longer have their brilliance.

But the very very ver sick elderly maniac is still alive.

Does evil give one superpowers or something? The ability to devy death the comes calling for us all?

Why?

I asked the God-I-Serve-Who-Is-On-The-Side-of-the-Oppressed, the same questions I've been asking for the past year - Why? followed by, How-much-longer?

They have tried other bastardize my faith and claim that what they are doing is Christian. No where in the ancient text of writers' thoughts and muses is there anything even remotely condoning what these people are doing.

God and I have several talks like this.

Now, I'm not furloughed, my husband and I are both gainfully employed, we are on the other side of 60, and our children are all fed. 

My ranting and railing is for those who don't have the ability to even afford a $10 latte if they wanted to treat themselves.

I lament, like Cole Arthur Riley wrote in her book, Black Liturgies, I lament for those trying to stand against patriarchy, for the women who have been holding the line, for the 92% of African American women who voted on the side of humanity and the democracy. I lamented and it was a release, it was an acknowledgement that no, none of this makes sense, and it is ok to acknowledge that.

After I did my ranting and railing, I contacted the Senators in the New England States were I live and reminded them that in our independence up here, we do believe people deserve food and health care. I implored them to hold the line. 

We are connected, whether we want to be or not.

I felt badly for the delusional racists in Nebraska who found themselves in miles long food lines because their snap benefits had been cut off.

I felt badly for the military personnel standing in similar lines.

I can have empathy for them and still stay they were wrong for what they willfully chose and this is a consequence of their actions.

And I can stand with so many others who have been demanding an end to this.

What I know of my faith is that God put this universe in our hands. Prayer empowers and refuels us, but prayer alone won't magically fix this. It didn't for my enslaved ancestors or for the marchers during the Civil Rights Movement or even recently during the unrests of 2014-2020. We can't magically wish it away.

And that is probably part of the problem of those who cling so closely to the myth of Whyte superiority and supremacy. 

Maybe that is the reaping that has been long overdue.

That white women have been the first and longest beneficiary of Affirmative Action and DEI, that white children are the ones on IEP and special needs classes programming, that white men chose not to get more education and that white seniors are the ones withering in nursing homes. Their lie was exposed for all to see.

I can't make sense of it and stopped a long time ago trying to figure out those bent on their own destruction.

I've cut ties with people who voted for this and still refuse to see the destruction around them.

I've focused on helping people who are unduly harmed and have boycotted certain expenditures that paid into this destruction.

What I have come to know and realize is that this will end, there are more on the side of good, but when the dust settles and we have to rebuild, I hope the collective we remembers this pain and never want to inflict it on the future generations ever again.

One can only hope.

©2025. Gazing out over the horizon of tomorrow, thinking about justice