Dying in the Living

 Every day, I am surrounded by the possibility of death.

In my work as a Palliative Care/Hematology and Oncology Chaplain, I am always thinking about the fragility of life.

We are merely a whisper, a minor blink in the film of life, a moment.

Even those who are super famous or whose sudden passing caused us to have a collective gasp - are remembered only in a short time.

That always has me thinking.

How well are we living into the dash.

None of us know truly our origin - someone told us that...and none of us know when we will end - some will speak of that...so it is truly just that in between that we can say who we are, what we are about, and how we want our lives to be.

Some of us are short on this side of the universe, and others are anticipating their 100th trip around the sun, for all of us, we have an appointment on this Earth and a completion date.

One of the things working with families in the journey of their loved ones final chapter is the reminder to myself of the gift of each moment.

I think often now about my ending.

We have to in order to be mentally, spiritually, and emotionally available to our patients.

How would I like my final time?

Would I want to be in a hospital or at home? What machines? Is it futile or not? What kind of things would I want around me as I whisper goodbye?

No one really wants to think that we are near the end.

Americans, especially, are truly uncomfortable with the finality of death, and therefore do not have many good rituals around the celebration of this journey from one existence to another.

I think about how to help people make it a good journey.

Regardless of what one believes, we are all still filled with the emotional outpouring of the vacuum of when someone's essence is on longer on this plain.

Because of this, I encourage us to live in the dying.

These bodies are decaying every day, even as I sit here with a brace on to support my L4/L5 spinal injury, marvel at each new wrinkle surrounding my eyes, or trip out over more gray hair dancing through my curls.

Gray hair is a blessing that not everyone gets to receive.

To live is a gift, to die, honestly, is also a gift.

How are you living?

How are you challenging yourself to live more fully in that infinite of infinite things? Time is fleeting and we don't get any of it back.

So live this life.

Fully, completely, lovingly.

Without fear, without trepidation, without malice.

Do it in love.

Because in the end.

That is all that we have.

If we are lucky.

Those who truly love and care about us.

And I promise you - no one is asking about the job, the car, the house, the junk accumulated, but each are asking about that person they love, want them surrounding them, and knowing that in the end, they did impact someone's life.

So, from this Chaplain, take the risk to go and live, fully.

©2025. Embracing the living in the dying in a brand new state