I was all starry eyed with a glittering gleam in my eye when I was visiting my former pastor. My then-man friend (can one call a man a boyfriend?) gave me his Mercedes-Benz to drive a few states over to visit some former friends. That still baffles me, sometimes, that he gave me his luxury car to drive around. He actually had two and gave me the better of the two to go and visit. It was me and my sons on this visit. A bit of context, by the time I was that ripe-old-age-of-barely-thirty, I had already lived through the darkest days of my life, had already been married-and-divorced, had juggled the disappointment and shame that society heaped upon women (and all before social media made our every move ubiquitous with content), and was in a rebuilding my dreams stage of life. Back then, I was considered old, funny looking at it now, my children - all adults - are still figuring out their lives at the ages when I was responsible for someone else. Anyway, back before camer...
There are a lot of days that I sit and watch the trees, the comings and going of life, or the waves of the ocean and ponder life. I think deep down I am a mystic. Nothing like Harriet Tubman or Howard Thurman, but in my own way, very much a spiritually grounded deep thinker. Such as it is, I have my morning muse. Me, a hand ground coffee - usually one from Rwanda, Burundi, or Ethiopia - and I sit. The very act of sitting is often eschewed in America. Very much so in historical Foundational Black American communities. Who has time to sit when survival has taken all the essence of life and being? Sitting, being still, pondering, perhaps there is some privilege in that, I'm not sure, but it is what I have always done early in the morning. I want to be silent in the deeper places of my heart and soul and hear from God. Probably thirty years ago, I remember the feeling of "what now?" after enduring some tumultuous changes in my life from age 23-29. The twenties are definite...