Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Family and Loss and Love

Family is very precious. Their presence in my life is worth more than gold, rubies, or diamonds. My essence and very existence center around my family after my relationship with Christ.

Tonight my heart is heavy. One of my Aunts is losing her battle with terminal cancer. Her only child, my dear cousin, sent a message to the family that now is the time to speak to her. She is standing at the door we all must one day walk through.

I feel loss. I just moved back to my family's main base. I've only been "home" a few months and was looking forward to reconnecting with this large clan. Some I have seen, some I haven't. We all have lives, we are getting settled in, I have kids. All the things that consume that precious commodity called time. Then time ran out.

My phone and fingers have been texting and dialing across the country. How could this happen to us? One precious cousin, my mother's generation, suddenly passed away in December. We had no expectation as she was a bright and beautiful as ever at the family party in November. She was spry and in much better shape than the rest of the relatives of her generation. Under our breath, all of us somewhat expected that "call" for some of the elders that are in their 80s and under medical care. No one expected it for Cousin Peaches. I was sent into shock waves when she passed. I feel those same shock waves now.

Aunt Hannah is a gentle spirit. I cherish the past few weeks that I have been able to spend time with her. My cousin and I text each other. He is heavy on my mind. I've been through the death of a parent - twice - and know the quick demise of terminal cancer. It won't hit him until later. I was like that with my dad back in 1999. And all I want to do right now is give him a big hug, tell her I love her, and pray for God's peace on the family.

God knows our human need for connection. I've been blessed to have been born into a large clan with multiple facets. We will love and support each other through this time. It is ironic that we are having a family reunion this weekend here in our home city. Love will fill this place and through the tears, we will cherish.

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