Skip to main content

Marriage?

Image
By
This morning, Sunday, December 9, 2012, hundreds of couples are donning tuxedos and gowns, nervously getting their final preparations in place to step into an institution of public declaration - marriage.

I've been there - more than once - being uncertain, unsure and excited, certain, sure. Hands shaking as I pulled on the lacy undergarments and was helped into my wedding gown, checking the mirror one more time to make sure my hair and makeup was straight.  I was make a decision, a commitment, a hopefully lasting moment truly until death-do-us-part.  Marriage.

In Washington State, there are men and women preparing to stand before their family and friends, before a licensed and/or ordained official to declare legal the license they picked up on Friday.  They will recite vows - traditional with a twist or those they wrote themselves - and will seal the commitment with a public expression of affection.  They will keep names or change names and will walk back down the aisle for the first time as a married couple.  Marriage.

Washington joins Maine and California and the other states that make today's nuptuals just a bit different - these are same sex couples.

Does that make it any more exciting and the butterflies any less real? Is marriage just about sex?  What about the ones who are in sexless marriages? Is marriage just about kids? What about the ones unable to have kids - biological or adoptive?  Is marriage just about health care choices? Is marriage just about legitimacy? Is marriage just about business?  What is it?

Millions have asked that question through millenia.  At one point, it was so that starry eyed young virgins (and hopefully, young virgin males) could explore the Song of Solomon beauty of physical intimacy.  Many young people with raging hormones sat through sermons about the horrors of sex outside marriage and how they would essentially burn in the fiery pit if they gave in to the natural inclinations of their changing bodies.  Is it to have as many children as her womb can possibly hold, what is it?

Perhaps, ultimately, as we learn through the couples who are taking the leap into a commitment, marriage is just that - a commitment to love this person with all their faults, with all the loss, with all the gains, with all the hopes, with all the dashed dreams, with all the everything that comes when you share a life and space with another person.

Marriage...just...is...what...it...is...for...each...couple.  And that is ok.

Comments

Post a Comment

Thoughtful dialogue is appreciated.

Popular posts from this blog

Hannah's Song

By
We came together last night and sang Hannah's song. Family from California was in town, it was the night before Aunt Hannah's Home Going Celebration. We met at my house late in the evening to fellowship, remember, hug, eat, and laugh. Thom felt the love in the room and I'm sure his mom would've appreciated us doing what she did all her life - love. Aunt Hannah was a gracious woman. Her gentle spirit, sparkling eyes, and constant smile will be remembered. She has left us physically, but never spiritually. The laughter was like music in Thom's ear. For the first time in weeks I saw my cousin relax. He has been in a tornado for the past four weeks from his mother's diagnosis to her death. Even in her final stage, Aunt Hannah was granted her desire. She asked to not suffer long when it was her time to go, she had been a caregiver her whole life and I'm sure her prayer was for her son. In the last days of her life, she still greeted well wishers with a wa...
1 comment
Read more

Brothers, Can we Talk?

By
 I'm a Black woman, born of a Black woman and a Black man. When my mother died, it was my father who nurtured me and instilled in me a sense of pride of self, of my race, of my abilities to do whatever I put my mind to do. He never imposed limitations on me as a Black woman. The only caution he ever gave me was to not burn my candle at both ends and to be mindful of my health, I am an asthmatic. He never stopped me from trying anything and always encouraged me. Daddy was a strong Black man who introduced me to Shirley Chisholm when I was a little girl. He reminded me of the fortitude of my late mother's quest for gender equality in the workplace and of the namesake who marched at Selma.  He is the one who gave me my pseudonym, Tayé. Daddy was a strong tower of empowerment and fought all the way to his last breath for social, gender, and racial justice. It is in remembering my father this morning that I'm asking the brothers, can we talk? What is it, especially those of my g...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ashes to Ashes

By
 This is Ash Wednesday. For a lot of Catholics and Anglican Christians, it begins the holy season of Lent. We remember we are but dust and to dust we return, ashes to ashes.  It is a somber reminder of our humanity and the finality of life. We are a mere breath. Today, as a Hospital Chaplain Resident, I am imposing ashes on patients, family, and staff. It is a visible marker of a shared faith and belief. We look with anticipation to the finished work of salvation on the cross and in eager hope of the resurrection. As my day progressed, I noticed how much hope was in the eyes of the ones giving and receiving this reminder of our existence. It was both a somber moment and a joyful moment. Two things can exist at the same time. Like the world we find ourselves in. Even as it seems like the darkest, certainly the darkest I’ve known in my six decades on this earth. Completely imperfect as a nation, there was still a glimmer of light until the nightmare became reality. We wonder abo...
Post a Comment
Read more