Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Broken Fingers and Relationships

A broken relationship is like a broken finger.

You remember the impact, that one thing that caused the  pain and then you ignore it, thinking, no, it's not broken, just hurt it a little.

Then there is that constant throbbing and crocked shape that is a result of the break that you ignore as just your imagination.

It is not until you really look at it and realize that it is broken and decide to mend it that the real pain comes.

You bind it together to fuse back the broken bones, compressing the outer to join back the inner, and it hurts.

Shock waves send signals to the brain that there is pain, throbbing, the kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night demanding attention.  It is concentrated in that one area, the part that caused the break, and the nerves are on edge, attempting to heal it causes more pain than the dull throbbing of just leaving it alone.

You know it is better to mend it, there could be longer term implications if it is not healed, the least of which is never getting a ring on again.  So you sit up straight in bed, hold it in the air, and let out a silent scream that this feels like your heart and mind are being sliced through with jagged edges.

But then it lessens, the throbbing will subside, the need for medication to mask it or cope with it diminishes, and it does heal.

It will never be brand new again, never straight again, after all, it sat there for a while before you realized it was broken, but it will mend and in the process, it will hurt, it will tear at your heart, it will feel like being stuck with a thousand needles and jagged edges, but it will mend.  It will work again.

The slight leaning to the left of the once broken finger is like the slight leaning of the once straight appendage. During the healing process, you learned to write with the other hand and it looked like something of morse code instead of your smooth handwriting, but it was legible, you communicated.  The same is true for a mending relationship, it is slow, steady, unsure at first, but then you persist, get the hang of it and adjust.

It sometimes takes bravery to endure a broken friendship, relationship, or even a marriage, but that bravery, that inner strength to keep going while the bones heal, is worth it in the end.

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