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Wanting To Hold Time Still

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The world seemed to stand still in the rush of morning activity.

Bookbags were hurriedly stuffed in the car, breakfast barely consumed, jackets hastily donned against the unexpected cold.  The promise of the day was unfolding as the engine made its roar to life and the blast of the car exhaust let out a poof of steam against the wind of this new day.

Turning the corner, hoping to catch the light, coffee sipping and backseat chatting about the hope of seeing friends and discovering new things under the watchful eye of the teacher in the front.  The music softly played, NPR an afterthought, hands turning over wheel, lights on against the dawning mist, a new day of activity forming ahead.

Pulled to the brick edifice of learning, little legs jumping out the door pushed open, grabbing the backback slung over one shoulder, "bye mom," in jubilant excitement, dashing off to 4th grade, waiting and meeting friends to go stand on line until the time to go inside, feeling confident and independent in this place now alone, for the first time, a big girl.

Slowly shifting gears, hoping to catch another glimpse of the pink coat and dreadlocked ponytail lost in the sea of ones not so little anymore, driving slowly past the building, wanting time to stand still, knowing this is the last one.

Desperately wanting to turn around and go back and turn back and be in that quiet space again when the fingers were tiny and the toes counting to ten, holding her softness, smelling her hair, feeling her whispy locks.

Time should stand still for this last one, this one turning ten.

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