Monday, September 6, 2021

Renewing Moments

 I am a true INFJ

Really.

An introvert.

That doesn't mean I don't talk to people, I do, or even that I am petrified in crowds, I'm not.

It just means that I refuel by my alone time, that I am deeply introspective and intuitive, that as an empath, my emotions are my spiritual radar, and my judgements are made based upon careful consideration of possible outcomes and impact.

Over the past month, with so much happening in the world, really ,the past year, my "being in tune" has been on hyper-speed.

The effect has been like a ball of air in my stomach or a pit of fire in my heart.

No, it wasn't a personal crisis.

It was the combination of watching everything around me, advocating for others, and realizing that I needed to attend to my heart, that compelled me to do a step back.

I went for a walk along the shore.

I read some poetry.

I talked to a trusted friend about transitions.

These are deeply spiritual and meditative practices for me, maybe for you.

When we are bombarded with so much on the news - whether we get it from TV, social media, radio, or opening the newspaper - it can feel like a lot because it is a lot.

We are in times we have never been in before.

Every generation has that statement, but this is incredibly different.

I live in the Northeast and we had the aftereffects of Hurricane Ida, some places are still trying to dry out from the inland flooding. For folks in Louisiana and parts of Mississippi, this has been an incalculable loss.

Then Covid-19 and the Delta variant are still wrecking havoc on lives, truly a pandemic of the unvaccinated and children under twelve who are suffering the consequences of adults. 

Nevermind the twenty years since 9-11 and the pull-out from Afghanistan that has many people wondering what in the world we were doing there for that long anyway and if it was the right thing to leave or even if anyone can reign in the terror of the Taliban while terror looms in the air here.

In the time since summer started, we learned there are more non-white people in the country, school boards have had an all out assault against anything resembling reckoning with history, and denial is on hyper-speed.

I needed a moment.

So I did what this Advocate knew to do, but do it for myself.

I asked myself what did I need in this moment, how was it with my should.

When the answer left me wanting, I went to the shoreline, I pulled out my pens, I looked at the trees, I breathed.

None of us know what will happen in the next breath.

That can feel scary.

But it is also empowering

Why waste time waiting for someone to recognize your talent? Go and do something else.

Why lament what has already happened with the climate? Go and do something else about it.

Why just scream and post about the bans-against-women's-autonomy? Go and do something about it.

Even as an inner thinker and observer, I knew there was something I could do, so I did.

I took to the pen, that has been my gift, and I lent my story, and I donated and I spoke about it.

So much can make us feel powerless and that is actually how these things get to keep on happening, it renders us immobile, but if we look up, take the time to reclaim our heart, and then decide on that one thing we can do, we can renew.

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