The Musings of a Latte Queen: Narratives of Everyday Life

I wish I had my mother's words. Something, anything in her own handwriting. Her thoughts, her heart, her wonderings. The older I get and the more I look at my precious children, the more I know that if I do not leave my words behind, I've left them without an important piece of life. They need to know more about me than being their mother, the same I want to know more about my mother, the same as I want to have my father's words. They need to know their heritage. I tell my children a lot about our family, in the oral history tradition. They know volumes. Will they remember to tell these stories to their own children? Will I remember them when I am old and the hair is gray and the memory is feeble? It is hard to think about leaving this world, it is not a topic most Americans want to ponder, yet, like all things, it will happen inevitably. What do I want my children to know of me? How much can they handle? Who do I want them to remember? My mother died when I was only four y...

Sometimes you just have a beautiful day. Saturday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the weather was forgiving, and the kids were cooperating. It was a great day to enjoy the fall and take in the beauty of the changing leaves. The joyous sounds of their laughter topped it off like the creamy froth on my vanilla lattes. We slept in, that was a treat. My daughters and I had a time of morning banter and play, relishing in the quiet morning, their brother asleep and their dad at the gym. We mused about what we could possibly do, finally deciding on going out to downtown Kirkwood. We ate cereal for breakfast and when the brother emerged from his bedroom cocoon, we left to hit the city. There are rare moments when I have all three of the children on the same page, bubbling over with laughter, and agreeing to just enjoy each other. Saturday was a great day. We sat and had hot chocolate while the son studied at the library. Then we took to walking down the scenic downtown, takin...

You know I love to read. Books are as important to me as my lattes, after my family and God, of course. You know what I mean. So, of late, I have been devouring all these great books, almost as if time would run out before I have a chance to finish reading everything on my bookshelves and in my favorite bookstore. I was on a reading frenzie the past two days and now am kinda bummed that the event is cancelled. Ron Currie Jr.'s book, Every Thing Matters , has taken the world by storm. He was due to be in St. Louis today at the City Museum for a reading. It was a collaborative effort by the four main independent bookstores, but alas, illness has prevented him from being here. I am bummed out, hope he is ok, but bummed still the same. While this is not a book review, I was looking forward to expelling the air that has been caught in my stomach since getting on this roller coaster ride of a book! Then it got me to thinking, what if I had a chance to rewind my life, would I take ...

I had a full day to digest the news of my upcoming grandbabies. It seems that the entire fall calendar I had planned has been thrown out the window with this upcoming event. I can not wait until January 2010. The same time that I am awaiting this event, I am also wisely, slowly, and quietly helping my son get ready. This is a major life change for him and in his words, "this was not how I thought I would have children." He had to first get over his angst over really, really, audibly telling me that I am having two grandchildren. Then he let his guard down a little so I could hear the voice of my vulnerable son contemplating this change in his life. Children are a blessing. Even if they come in unexpected ways. We are celebrating the blessing. And preparing my son for this event. His sister and I were chatting about the whole thing yesterday after school. She said "I am too young to be called Auntie. They can just call me K." She promptly began to muse abo...

So, does great news change because you are upset about how you received it? Does it make the news any less great? Do you still celebrate? I guess it all depends. Today I learned I am going to be a grandmother...I think. Still not sure if this is a hoax or real. Do I run out to the boutique baby store in town and pick up all the cute little gifts? Or do I sit patiently, mourning my status as the one of only a few of my cousins without that moniker? And what do I call myself? I am only 45. I am the Latte Queen for goodness sakes! I wear pink keds and fluffy pink scarves. I do not look my age. What is a grandmother supposed to look like anyway? I am still not sure if this news is real. I've been rewinding conversations with my son, the renaissance man-writer-spoken word artist-rapper-artist type. He kinda mentioned a long while ago, "mom, I may have gotten a girl pregnant," almost in the same breath he said, "my CD is in another store and I have a performanc...